Anna S. E. Lundberg

Coach, Speaker, Writer

How to practise setting boundaries

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Whether you’re a senior professional in a large corporation or an entrepreneur working independently, the boundaries between ‘work’ and ‘life’ are getting more and more blurred. This has been particularly evident during the pandemic, as more people have been working from home than ever before. In fact, I’m a big fan of the idea of work-life integration rather than the more prevalent construct of ‘work-life balance‘. However, integrating work into your life does not mean a complete lack of boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries is all the more important for that integration to work for you. And yet it can be so difficult to set those boundaries and, above all, to stick to them. So let’s take a look at how to practise setting boundaries.

Why are strong boundaries so important?

First, though: why is it important to set boundaries at all?

Well, boundaries allow you to protect what’s important. That can mean carving out personal time with your family, preserving your mental health, maintaining healthy relationships… Ultimately, it means staying true to who you are and living your life with integrity.

To understand how important it is to set boundaries, you need only look at what happens when you don’t have them. When there’s a lack of boundaries or only poor boundaries in place, the symptoms are likely to include feeling drained of energy, as if you’re not in control of your own time or priorities, and you’re also likely to feel resentful and being taken advantage of. Although you’re the one allowing this to happen, it’s easy to blame others. That ‘other’ might be a demanding boss, or an unreasonable client, or someone in your personal life who is taking you for granted.

What do good boundaries look like?

Okay, so what kind of boundaries are we talking about?

Taking the example of working from home, setting healthy boundaries can start with actual physical boundaries. For example:

  • Designate an area in your house where you’ll do your work. When you’ve finished for the day, pack away your documents, shut down your laptop, and shut the door to that room altogether.
  • Turn off the notification on your email application while you’re working on an important project or presentation.
  • Set your phone to silent or turn it off entirely when evening comes and you’re having dinner, storytime with the kids, or date night.

There are also professional boundaries that need to be set with your colleagues, managers, direct reports, or with your clients if you have your own business:

  • Define your ‘office hours’ when you can be reached, and when you’re not available. Traditionally, office hours would be Monday to Friday ‘9 to 5’ but you get to define what that looks like.
  • Specify how you want to communicate – is email the best way or would you prefer people to pick up the phone? Are you available on chat or WhatsApp or is that for family and friends only?
  • How much are you willing to give to your work and your clients, and does the scope of your responsibilities end?

There are also more subtle mental and emotional boundaries. For example:

  • Draw a line between your work persona or your professional personal brand on the one hand and your whole personal self that comes to the fore in your private life.
  • Be clear on what you’re happy to share in a work or business context and what is private.
  • Understand who are your close friends who can be trusted with intimate insights and who in your broader circle doesn’t need to know the ins and outs of your personal situation.

How to practise setting healthy boundaries (and sticking to them)

Now that you have an idea of what kind of boundaries might be helpful in your life and career, what next? How do you set the boundaries that will make sense for you? And how will you make sure they are respected?

  1. Decide on your boundaries – It might sound obvious, but the first step has to be to decide on those people and things that are most important to you, what are your non-negotiables, and where you’re willing to compromise. That means you must clarify what the boundaries are as well as whether they’re completely fixed and immovable or rather a little flexible when necessary. People are more likely to respect your boundaries if you show a willingness to compromise in a true emergency.
  2. Proactively and assertively communicate those boundaries – It’s no good having boundaries that no one is aware of. Clients and colleagues will learn to respect your boundaries if they understand what they are (and why they are important). They’ll probably even be inspired to put in place some of their own!
  3. Learn to say “no” to protect those boundaries – These are your boundaries, and you’re in control here. People will continue to push and test the boundaries (like toddlers!) if they can get away with it. Learn to say “no” politely but firmly.

What boundaries do you already have in place? What additional boundaries could you implement? And how will you set them?

And would you like help with how to practise setting boundaries in your life and business? Get in touch and we can look at how I can help you do just that.

 

How to have a better work life balance

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how to have a better work-life balanceWork-life balance is one of those phrases that gets thrown about a lot, especially now in the context of working from home and in relation to the concept of the hybrid office. Whether you’re in a senior management role in a large corporation or running your own business, you’re likely to be endlessly striving for that perfect ideal of a healthy work-life balance. That means achieving your career goals on the one hand while having quality time for everything else in life on the other. And yet trying to do everything will mean that you’re working longer hours, being torn in different directions, and, at worst, your mental health is likely to suffer. So let’s consider how to have a better work-life balance.

How to have a better work-life balance

1. Define success

To work out how to have a better work-life balance, you must start by defining what a *better* work-life balance looks like for you. While you’re at, you should define ‘work’, ‘life’, and ‘balance’!

You’re never going to have any meaningful kind of work-life balance if your working day involves extreme stress, a toxic office environment, and work that you simply don’t enjoy. Gone are the days when work was just work, a way to earn a living. Our expectations and opportunities are much bigger these days, as we search for work with a purpose, that’s aligned to our values, and that we feel makes a meaningful difference.

Next, your personal ‘life’ outside of work includes a rich tapestry of people and activities. What are the relationships that matter in your life? Hobbies and activities? Health and fitness? Knowing what’s important to you is a prerequisite for making time for what matters.

And, finally, ‘balance’ is a subjective and evolving state of being rather than a predefined end goal. It will never be possible, or even desirable, to be 10/10 in every domain of your life. You will inevitably need to, and want to, make priority calls on where to focus at any given time.

2. Identify the blockers

Once you’re clear on what success looks like to you regarding work-life balance, the next step is to look at what’s currently getting in the way. Why don’t you have that balance right today? What are the barriers?

Do you feel like you just have too much work to do, your obligations in the office are so great and your boss so demanding that you simply must stay late in the office, work long hours, and eat into your personal time?

Or, likewise, do you feel that your family obligations weigh too heavy? All the life admin, housework, paying bills, taking care of the kids… all this leaves no time or energy for the fun stuff?

Whatever your excuses today, you need to face these head on and understand clearly what you feel is getting in the way right now, so that you can look at how to address those barriers moving forward.

3. Look for solutions

And that’s the next step: looking for solutions to the professional and personal problem areas you’ve just identified. How can you reduce stress and manage your time and energy more effectively?

When I talk about delegation in business, I always suggest that you divide your projects and tasks into different buckets: (1) the things I have to do (because they’re important and I’m the only one who can do them); (2) the things I want to do (they’re in my ‘zone of genius’ and I really enjoy doing them); (3) the things someone else could do; and (4) the things that don’t need doing at all.

Whether we’re talking business or personal tasks, bucket three will include all the things that you can and should delegate. In business, you’re looking at hiring a virtual assistant, a graphic designer, a social media manager, etc. In your personal life, you’re talking cleaner, housekeeper, nanny…

And the things in the fourth bucket can be thrown away and forgotten about altogether!

4. Prioritise ruthlessly

One of the most powerful metaphors that I’ve come across for how to have a better work-life balance is the idea of balls. Not simply the usual cliché of juggling balls but a more nuanced distinction between the rubber balls on the one hand and the glass balls on the other. I’ve repeated this idea many times over the years, never sure where it came from. A little online research suggests that the origin may be in a commencement address by Brian Dyson, then CEO of Coca-Cola:

“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends and spirit – and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.

But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”

5. Stick to your guns

Here’s the thing: it’s not enough to understand this idea in principle, and to have a clear work-life balance strategy on paper. It’s not a case of making this decision and then, that’s it, you have an ideal work-life balance. You’re going to be tested, again and again. You’re going to have to make priority calls, tough decisions, and compromises, again and again and again.

So you need to keep those priorities front and centre, in your mind or even on a post-it or whiteboard by your desk, so that you can easily and repeatedly make the right decision when faced with a choice of what to prioritise. You need to set and maintain clear boundaries. And, most of all, you need to get good at saying, “no”! Only then can you hope to achieve work-life balance in practice.

In fact, ‘achieving balance’ is probably an impossible ideal that can’t be fulfilled. Balance is, by definition, an ongoing process. Your ambitions and obligations will expand and contract in different areas of your life, and your personal definition of success can and will evolve as well.

If you’d like help with how to have a better work-life balance, then get in touch and let’s talk about how I can support you in the coming months.

Building credibility as a leader

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5 attributes of building credibility as a leaderBuilding an effective personal brand requires knowing your ‘why’, being clear on what you stand for, and understanding the value that you can provide. But it’s all well and good to have that clarity and strategy on paper. Effective leadership – whether as an entrepreneur or as a senior professional in a corporation – requires building credibility as a leader.

There are many models of effective leadership. You may have been taught, as I was, the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey. You may have been galvanised by Simon Sinek’s powerful mantra, Start with Why. Most likely – hopefully! – you are inspired by real-life leaders, whether on the world stage or in your immediate circle. And if you have enough experience, you might even have your own leadership model.

Whatever the model you live by, a key component has to be credibility in the eyes of your target audience, your would-be followers. Consider these 5 attributes of building credibility as a leader.

5 attributes of building credibility as a leader

1. Delivering results

It should go without saying, but the foundation of a credible leader is doing what you say you can do. You need to be able to deliver what you promise in order to have any chance of establishing credibility. As a new leader, or as an experienced leader in a new space, it can take time to get those results. It should be your primary focus.

2. Transparency

Trust is a big part of credibility and honesty and transparency is required to build trust. You need to be open and upfront with your team members, your colleagues, your organisation, especially in a difficult situation. Trust that people understand and will act appropriately. Even a white lie, when uncovered, will be damaging and you will inevitably lose credibility.

3. Walking the talk

It’s not enough to say the right things. Effective leadership comes from leading by example and practising what you preach. You need to be a role model who people can look up to, respect, and learn from. This requires holding yourself accountable when you make mistakes. Be authentic, be human, be relatable – and in doing so, be an inspiration to the people watching.

4. Respect

Speaking of respect, good leaders also respect their peers, their team members – even their competitors. You may disagree with a prominent leader in your field and you should absolutely have your own unique perspective. But know that people are watching you closely and your behaviour will be scrutinised. Stay calm and don’t make it personal.

5. Consistency

Behaving one way in one situation and then behaving differently in another is confusing and disconcerting. Especially in an environment rife with uncertainty, consistency provides reassuring predictability and helps build trust. This requires clarity on your goals and values as well as the discipline to follow through in each and every interaction.

Build your credibility as a leader

Effective leadership starts with self-awareness. A good place to start, however junior or senior you are, is to ‘audit’ your own credibility and identify the gaps. Can you demonstrate results? Are you open and honest? Are you an authentic role model? Do you behave respectfully in all your interactions? And are you consistently showing up as the leader you want to be?

Ask yourself where there are opportunities to get better, then choose where to focus to build and maintain credibility where needed.

And, if you’d like my help, then get in touch to discuss how we can work together to elevate your personal brand.

How to build your personal brand

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5 steps to building your personal brand graphic

A strong personal brand is an incredibly powerful tool to have in your toolkit. That’s true whatever stage of your career you find yourself in, and whether you’re an employee or an entrepreneur. Discover 5 steps for how to build your personal brand to help you achieve your professional goals.

Why build your personal brand?

We all know the importance of a corporate brand or a brand behind a particular product. When it comes to a PERSONAL brand, however, there might be more hesitation.

“I don’t want to get personal, this is business.”

“It’s not about me, it’s about the work I’m doing.”

“It feels fake to create a specific personal brand.”

But if that’s how you feel, and that’s keeping you from developing your personal brand, then you’re missing a trick. Start by looking at your personal and professional goals for the future. Ask yourself whether your current image and positioning will help you achieve those goals. The answer, more often than not, is “no”.

If you’re an entrepreneur hiding behind your company brand, then you’re reducing your product or service to a commodity. It will be much harder to differentiate yourself versus your competitors. If you’re an employee looking for the next promotion, salary increase, or career pivot, then failing to manage your personal brand will reduce you to one of the 200 faceless applicants for a particular role. You’ll be easily overlooked despite your incredible expertise and experience.

As to being fake, we’re not talking about creating an artificial persona here. We’re simply curating your brand. We’re choosing the most important elements of who you are and what you do. And we’re telling a compelling story that will help you get to where you want to be.

How to build your personal brand

Let’s assume I’ve convinced you and you want to build your personal brand. How do you create a strong personal brand that feels authentic to you and helps you achieve your professional goals? Let’s break this down into 5 steps…

1. Define what ‘success’ looks like

Before you launch into creating an impactful personal brand, by understanding what you are trying to achieve. When it comes to your personal brand, you need to understand what having a strong personal brand requires and entails; your specific objectives for why you want to develop this personal brand; and the opportunities that you’re hoping to create for yourself.

Leaving the Corporate 9 to 5 book
A book is an incredibly powerful ‘business card’ that immediately demonstrates your knowledge and expertise, whether you are self-published or you go the traditional route.

I knew I would have to intentionally steer my brand to change direction in my career. I’ve gone from being known as a digital marketing expert in the luxury and beauty sector to extending that corporate experience to working with start-ups and entrepreneurs in different industries. I’ve also added my life coaching and positive psychology qualifications to provide a more holistic personal development coaching service. I’ve become known and respected in this new area, thanks to years of upskilling, creating valuable content, and putting myself in front of a targeted audience.

2. Get clear on what you stand for

Once you know the purpose of your personal brand, the ‘why’, you can move to the ‘what’. What do you stand for? What are your core values? What are your important beliefs and how do they differ from the mainstream view? What is your bigger ‘why’ or mission, the message you’re trying to get ‘out there’ and the story you want to tell?

I believe we need to change how we define ‘success’ and, in the context of work and career, move away from the conventional definition of the corporate career ladder, six-figure salary and pension package towards a more meaningful definition. I also believe we need to move away from harmful cultural norms that celebrate being busy all the time, the 24/7 ‘hustle’, and working ourselves to the point of burnout. A new definition of success needs to reflect the importance of creative freedom and autonomy, the flexibility to manage your work around your personal life and family, and the desire do to fulfilling work that gets you jumping out of bed in the morning – prioritising your mental and physical health while you do so.

3. Articulate your value proposition

Having an effective personal brand is not just about you but about the people you’re going to help – whether you have your own business and we’re talking about your ideal clients, or you are an employee who wants to serve your team, your organisation, or your customer. Who is the specific targeted audience that you’re trying to reach and what can you offer them? What problems can you solve? What value will you create? And what makes you credible with this audience?

My primary audience is the corporate professional who, like me back in 2013, has achieved the conventional version of success in their career. They have a prestigious job title in a big-name company, a nice salary, they’re well respected… But they are looking for ‘more’. I can help them figure out what an alternative could look like. I’ll mentor them through the process of developing their own business idea and value proposition. I’ll also coach them to overcome mindset blocks and the ever-present fear of failure. My credibility comes from my own personal journey of leaving my corporate marketing job to start my own business; my brand and marketing experience; and my coach training and, by now, years of experience helping people find and achieve their own definition of success.

4. Amplify your message

It’s not enough to be clear on your message and your value. People need to know that you exist if your personal brand is going to do anything for you! You may have resistance to the idea of self-promotion. Reframe this by focusing on your bigger message, the value you bring, and how you want to help. It’s also easy to get caught up in perfecting your personal website, optimising your social media profiles, and ordering beautiful business cards. More important is effective content marketing. That means creating valuable content – posts, articles, videos – and distributing it on the appropriate channels. This involves posting on your own profiles but also putting yourself in front of new audiences. For example, consider guest posting on other blogs, writing articles for relevant publications, or being a guest on suitable podcasts.

I come from a content marketing background, so this is my ‘thing’. I started by blogging and then I’ve layered on different types of content and channels to expand my online presence. Today, I create articles, videos, audio and posts on content themes that are relevant to experienced professionals who are looking to redefine success in their life and career, and I distribute that content on my website, my podcast, and via social media – primarily via my LinkedIn profile, Facebook and Instagram – while being an active guest on other relevant podcasts in personal development and business, as well as being consulted as an expert for relevant news stories and media features.

5. Create your IP

The 5 pillars of building a life outside of the 9 to 5
I’ve developed my ‘5 pillars’ framework based on years of working with clients and a comprehensive understanding of what it takes to build a  business and lifestyle. What frameworks can you create to bring to life your approach and expertise?

To take your expertise and authority to the next level, consider the IP, intellectual property, that you have or that you can create. If you’re a coach and you’re using the same standard GROW framework that everyone else has been taught, why should someone work with you rather than someone else? If you’re a leadership expert and you’re using Stephen Covey’s 7 habits, that’s a fantastic proven model, but what unique perspective can you bring to the table? Can you identify your own 5 steps, or 3 ingredients, or 8 principles? Do also consider boosting your credibility with a book, a podcast, or a Tedx talk.

By now, I have a range of different models and frameworks that are unique to my approach and value proposition. For example, I have my ‘5 pillars’ framework. These are the 5 key areas that I believe are crucial to building a life outside of the conventional 9 to 5. I use this framework to plan my content calendar in my marketing. I also use it directly with clients in my individual and group coaching programmes. And I have my book, Leaving the Corporate 9 to 5 (new Outside of the 9 to 5 coming soon, to be based on the 5 pillars), and my podcast, Reimagining Success with Anna S. E. Lundberg.

Start building your brand

So there you go, 5 steps to building your personal brand.

If you’re completely new to this whole idea, start from the beginning and work your way through the steps sequentially. Or, if you’ve been at it for a while, do an audit of your brand and your online presence. Ask yourself where there are opportunities to get better, then choose where to focus to take your brand even further.

And, if you’d like my help, wherever you find yourself in the process today, then get in touch to discuss how we can work together to elevate your personal brand.

5 things that skiing teaches you about life

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skiingAnother year, another week of downhill skiing in Verbier, Switzerland. This week has been the best so far – there was fresh snowfall at the start of the week, followed by a week of glorious sunshine, and on top we didn’t do any classes this time so we’ve been completely free to ski, rest and eat whenever we want! It’s just been a really lovely week of skiing. Whenever I’m out on the pistes, though, I’m always struck by the life lessons that skiing brings to mind! Here are 5 things that skiing teaches you…

1. You’re on your own

You may have supportive friends around you, or an experienced ski instructor, but ultimately, no one can help you make it down the mountain (unless you really get stuck and they have to come and get you with a scooter!). Knowing that you’re all alone is both terrifying and completely liberating. You can block out the sound of other people, forget what they are doing or not doing, and just focus on what it takes for you to do what you need to do.

2. The longer you hesitate, the harder it gets

I’ve had so many moments over the years of stopping at the top of a slope or, worse, halfway down and just getting more and more panicked about how I’m going to do it. The truth is, though, that it’s not going to get any easier from waiting, so it’s really just a question of taking a deep breath and going for it. And turn, and turn, and turn! No ‘shopping around’ for the best turning spot, no stopping completely – as the next turn will only be more difficult!

3. A lot of the fears are just in your head

There are some very real fears when you’re skiing – accidents do happen, even with experienced skiers, and they can happen when you least expect it. I’ve fallen twice this week while WALKING so it’s not even just the skiing that you need to watch out for. However, I’ve actually very rarely fallen and when I have (TOUCH WOOD) it’s not been particularly traumatic; I have always made it down the slope, however terrified I’ve been; and I’m only getting better, so really there’s less and less to worry about. In fact the fears only make me tense up and do all the things that interfere with my technique so, as is often the case, your fears are actually having the opposite effect to what you are hoping.

4. You should be facing the slope head on and leaning forwards

Your natural reaction is to want to lean back, away from the steep slope that’s laid out in front of you – but in fact this is counter-productive, giving you less control over your skis and making it more likely that you’ll fall. Leaning forwards, down the slope, will make sure that the skis press evenly into the snow along their full length so that you have better control. The other normal tendency for beginners is to swing the body round with each turn, rather than facing the slope head on so that you can see where you’re going and again so that your weight is correctly distributed.

5. It gets easier with practice

I used to be scared just of the overall environment when you’re skiing: dangling from the sky in a little cabin, making sure you get off the chair lift in time, being able to control your skis enough to be able to stop when you need to! Of course over the years all these things have become a natural part of the process and no longer terrify me. It’s the same with the skiing itself, the more turns you do, the more you challenge yourself to take on trickier slopes, the better you get. You can let your fear stop you, stick to the easier pistes or even avoid skiing altogether – or you can commit to getting better, to pushing yourself and to keep practising. As the ski school ads around Verbier proclaim: better skiers have more fun!

In fact, the previous points essentially come down to this: you have to commit to each action you take, each move you make. You don’t want to be hesitating, you don’t want to be leaning back and you don’t want to be fighting against the natural force of gravity! I find that if I just take some deep breaths, find a rhythm and stop over-thinking it, I get into a really nice flow and it’s much less work. And for all the dangers and fears, it’s so totally worth it for the views, the food and the exhilarating feeling of whooshing down the mountain.