Why most people will fail to fulfil their dream career (announcing my webinar)

21 October, 2016 By Anna S E Lundberg Leave a Comment

I watched a Ted talk a few years ago and it’s still one of my favourites. Not only is it absolutely hilarious, thanks to the fabulously dry humour of the ‘dismal’ economist Larry Smith, but it’s also incredibly powerful and potentially life changing. (I’ve embedded it at the end of the post so you can watch it if you have 15 minutes.)

Larry Smith goes through a few excuses that people give for why they can’t pursue their dream career:

“It’s just a matter of luck”
“Only geniuses get to follow their dream”
“I’m normal, I’m not obsessive”
“I can’t now that I have a family”

And, of course, the real reasons that are more likely to be fear related: fear of looking ridiculous, fear of failure…

He ends his talk with that powerful word: UNLESS. You will fail to have a great career; unless…

With that in mind, I’m excited to announce my webinar:

Why Most People Fail to Fulfil Their Dream Career (And How Not to be One of Them)

In this webinar, I’m going to delve into more detail on the reasons why people fail to pursue and achieve their dream career; and I’m going to be grabbing onto that word, ‘unless’, to help you to get over those barriers and to succeed in finding meaningful work that you actually love.

Here’s what we’ll be covering:

The 10 reasons why most people will fail to achieve their dream career
The critical element you need to have in order to succeed
The ONE STEP that will get you on the way to achieving that dream
And more!

You can view the available time slots and sign up to the webinar here:

*June 2017 Update: I ran this webinar for the first time in October 2016 and I’ve recently tweaked it and got it up and running again now to provide even more value.*

I hope to see you there!

Anna

PS Here’s Larry Smith’s excellent Ted talk:

Guest Post: You are a Big Deal! The Importance of Owning Your Value

2 September, 2016 By Anna S E Lundberg 4 Comments

This is a guest post by Michael Riley, who found me recently and is now an active member of my Facebook group (and actually did an interview with me already on his site). I love the topic of this post and I can definitely relate to the self-deprecating tendencies that Michael refers to. My mum has told me often of a time when I was little and I decided to list everyone that I like. “I like mummy, I like daddy, I like my sister, I like (etc) … and I like myself!” How many adults would say the same thing? That confidence and honesty was squeezed out of me growing up in England where it was definitely not okay to say that you liked yourself, or that you were good at something.

Who benefits when you hold back on who you are and what your special gifts are?

I believe that you can reach your fullest potential, and make your biggest contribution to the world, when you find work that matches your values, your interests and your individual strengths – and to do that you need to recognise, and own, your worth!

You are a Big Deal! The Importance of Owning Your Value

“Be Proud Of Who You Are And Not Ashamed Of How Others See You” – Anonymous

“Oh, it was nothing…” Do you find yourself saying this when you’ve done something for someone, or achieved something, or accomplished something, or did something you wanted to do?

How about, “Oh, it was no big deal…all I did was [fill in blank]”?

Up until just recently I had been saying this my whole life. When I graduated from university, for example, I felt like I had accomplished and achieved something massive, but I discounted that feeling when asked how I felt about it: “Oh, yeah, it feels really good… but hey, anyone could do it, so it’s not that big of a deal…” I still do it from time to time, but it’s becoming less and less because I’m working my guts off to recognise and reward myself for everything I do, achieve, or accomplish, no matter how big or small.

F*ck that noise!

The reason I believe we discount ourselves is because we have been conditioned by our parents, teachers, religious beliefs, culture and society to think that we’d be bragging or showing off if we shared how awesome we really felt, or spoke about how good we are, and that would be wrong; we should be humble and modest.

Yes and no.

While I believe it is a good trait to stay grounded, being humble and modest about who we are and what we have to offer is not – we must share who we are and own it, because we matter; we are a big deal.

And you can do this without coming across as a jerk. How? By being sincere and genuine. For example, when I’m asked what do I do? I reply: “Thanks for asking! I’m in a really exciting phase at the moment…” Pause and wait for the other person to ask a question, usually it will be “Oh, yeah, what’s that?” This will get the other person engaged and interested in you. “Well, I’ve recently changed career. Having spent 15 years helping businesses grow and increase revenue as an Account Manager I decided I wanted to coach and mentor young people, so I’ve taken time off work and I’m now studying fulltime. I’ve also just started a blog that helps people become their best version.” The conversation will flow and you’ve made a connection, maybe even a meaningful friendship. It really is that easy! You just need to believe in it… and in yourself.

“Believe it and you will see it.” – Wayne Dyer

I am a big deal. You are a big deal. Everything you did today, no matter how big or small, is a big deal. “Oh, but all I did was take the kids to school, clean the house, grocery shopping, pick the kids up from school, exercise, cook dinner, help the kids with their homework, have quality time with my husband… it’s nothing to write home about. It’s what I do most days.” Wow, that is a lot to write home about! You are giving so much to your family and that is a big deal!

I’ve heard and seen many people in business close huge deals or climb the corporate ladder and still discount themselves in some way. They would celebrate with colleagues, mates or loved ones and look and feel awesome on the outside but they were saying things like “It’s not that big of a deal,” or “Don’t be silly… it was nothing… John’s done better…” When I asked them why they didn’t give themselves ‘a plug’ they said they didn’t want to come across as bragging or a ‘tosser’.

If you are doing this, make a conscious effort to stop doing it today. You are a big deal – so own it! Remember: “Those that mind, don’t matter… those that matter, don’t mind.” Here’s what I do to know on a deep level that I’m a big deal – I encourage you to do it as well because it works:

Exercises

1. Write a list about how awesome you are. Mine’s called “I am awesome because today I…” Remember to be specific and include the little things that you used to think we’re not important or not a big deal. Next to each write, “That is a big deal. I am a big deal.”

Here’s an example of my list:

I am awesome because today I wrote down what I want to achieve/accomplish – that is a big deal. I am a big deal.
I am awesome because today I stuck to my allocated time for each action – that is a big deal. I am a big deal.
I am awesome because today I successfully completed an assignment – that is a big deal. I am a big deal.

I am awesome. I am a big deal. I matter!

2. (a). Practice saying what it is you actually do when next asked, “What do you do?” and say it like the example I gave earlier. It’ll feel uncomfortable at first but the more you do it the easier it’ll get.

2. (b) When you catch your inner critic telling you you’re worthless or useless or unworthy, write it down and reword everything. If you hear him say, for example, “I’ll never have her. She’s out of my league,” change it to “I’m good enough for her. Is she good enough for me? Let’s find out.” Or if he says, “I can’t do that, I’m not good at speaking in front of people,” rewrite it to “You know what, I can do that. I’m a fantastic speaker and I know they’ll love what I have to say.”

The hidden costs of not owning your value are many. The ones that can really cripple your life include:

You become a people pleaser – “I can’t tell them how awesome I am. They will think less of me or think I’m too good for them. I’ll just be humble and modest and hope they like me.”
You become fearful, hesitant and miss out on opportunities to have what you want – “I can’t talk to her in a café. She’s going to think I’m weird and she’ll get annoyed at me for bothering her. Besides everyone will hear me and laugh at me when she rejects me.”
You settle in life – because you don’t believe how much of a big deal you really are, you just take what you can get. You settle in your relationships, friendships, career… in life.

The benefits of owning your value, of course, are the exact opposite:

You attract successful, nurturing, supportive people into your life.
You go after what you want without fear or hesitation and grow from the outcome regardless if you get a yes or no.
You become the selector, not the selected, and live the life you deserve.

“Feel the fear… and do it anyway.” – Susan Jeffers

Use the information here as a starting point. There are many good books about owning your value and worth and I encourage to invest in yourself and read them. One book in particular I read over and over and highly recommend is Feel The Fear… And Do It Anyway by Susan Jeffers.

5 Highlights of My Time in Denver

5 August, 2016 By Anna S E Lundberg Leave a Comment

My trip to the US this summer ended with a final two weeks in Denver, where the plan as usual was to work but also try to see a bit of the area. As I soon discovered when I arrived, Denver is known as the ‘mile-high city’ since it’s located at an elevation of exactly one mile (1,610 metres) above sea level. I’ve always had an image of Colorado being a very green state, and Denver is clearly an ever-more popular city, now one of the fastest-growing in the country alongside other fashionable destinations like Austin and Portland. The only thing I’m missing in this city, based on what I experienced on this short stay, is the ocean!

So here, in addition of course to attending my cousin’s wedding up in Estes Park and getting complimented by Uber drivers, are 5 highlights of my time in Denver, Colorado:

Enjoying the weather – and the views

Denver skyline — The view from my balcony – not too shabby! We made plans to tear down the apartment building that sadly blocked a large chunk of the view, although I’m afraid the investment required was a little over budget…

I was told repeatedly by the different people I met during my time there that Denver has 300 days of annual sunshine, and although that’s turned out to be a myth* I get the impression that they get a pretty good deal, with four distinct seasons including both a cold winter and a hot summer. The weather was great while I was there, and even when it rained it was warm and the clouds quickly blew over. I would go out in the evening in a vest top and skirt and didn’t even need to bring a jacket, something that is incredibly rare even on my latest beach holidays. The city is located with the Rocky Mountains to the west and the High Plains to the east. One of the highlights was definitely the balcony (and the rooftop pool) at my airbnb, which was on the 10^th floor of one of the few tall buildings in Capitol Hill and offered stunning 360 views across to the mountains, which looked to me like a fake Hollywood backdrop.

*According to this article, the first reference to these “300 days of sunshine” was by a railroad company that wanted to attract people from the East. The true figures are more likely around 115 clear days, 130 partly cloudy, and 120 cloudy days.

Visiting Molly Brown’s house

Molly Brown Museum — Margaret Brown’s house was going to be torn down in 1972 but funds were raised to restore the house and the museum is now one of the states’ most visited sites.

In looking for famous sights to visit in the city, I was surprised to discover a museum dedicated to Molly Brown. You’ll likely recognise the name Molly Brown (although she was actually named Margaret Brown throughout her lifetime) from Titanic, in which the role was played by Kathy Bates. In the film, the real-life character befriends the fictional Jack and tries to get her lifeboat to return to the sinking ship to save more of the drowning passengers; I found the rest of her true story is equally impressive. Born in Hannibal, Missouri, she moved to the silver mining town of Leadville in Colorado in order to find a rich husband. Instead she fell in love with a foreman and they were married six months later – but when the Colorado Silver Boom ended and many others went bankrupt, James Joseph Brown’s geology knowledge led to the world’s largest gold strike to date, and the couple became wealthy as a result and moved to Denver where they bought the mansion that I’ve now visited.

Margaret Brown was a formidable woman, playing an important role in issues such as improving the rights of miners and their families, votes for women, and education and juvenile justice for children. She was fluent in five languages, drove a truck for the French Red Cross during the First World War, and was awarded the French Legion of Honour. Her husband JJ Brown grew frustrated with her activities outside the home and in 1909 they were legally separated. At the time of her death she was studying acting with Sarah Bernhardt…

Taking Banjo Billy’s bus tour

Banjo Billy bus — Banjo Billy’s bus is not like other tour buses, including the interior where we all sat on sofas and armchairs.

I tend to steer clear of those awful sightseeing tours on double-decker buses but this one was recommended to me by my airbnb host. The bus itself is pretty unusual, the tour guide a lot more energetic and fun, and the information we got more interesting than a typical city tour. I particularly enjoyed learning about the early history of Denver, which started with the discovery of a small amount of gold at Cherry Creek in 1858; the girls’ school next to the Brown Palace Hotel that became a brothel; and the Teapot Dome Scandal (which I had actually read about in my research on President Warren Harding, 1921-23, as part of learning all the US presidents from 1901 through to the present day during my recent road trip). We also learned important facts about the blue bear and demon-eyed horse statues (they cost $425,000 and $800,000 respectively, while the latter fell on its creator and killed him); the “wickedest street in America” (Colfax Avenue); and the ratio of pot dispensaries to Starbucks (it’s 2:1, FYI).

Whiskey and wine. And cider. And beer.

Stranahan's whiskey distillery — I feel like I learned a lot on the whiskey distillery tour, and even more on the Infinite Monkey Theorem wine tour. Very educational!

For some reason my time in Denver involved a lot of tasting of alcohol. It all started with a flight of cider at Stem Ciders (warning for the coffee one: it tastes as advertised but I’d steer clear of that particular flavour). I then moved on to Stranahan’s whiskey distillery, where they offer free tours but of course you may enjoy going next door to the bar and sampling a full-size Diamond Peak or some kind of cocktail. There I got the recommendation to visit Infinite Monkey Theorem, a winery started by an Englishman, Ben Parsons, and which produces wine by the barrel, bottle, and can (!!) as well as housing a lively bar. I completed this tour of Denver drinks with a visit on my last night to LowDown Brewery, which has pretty good food as well as the possibility to sample the different craft beers.

If you want something a bit less alcoholic, then there are also plenty of nice little coffee bars – my local ones included Pablo’s Coffee on 6^th and Washington as well as the hipster-filled Thump Coffee on East 13^th Avenue.

Running in the city

There’s plenty to do in Washington Park other than running, with volleyball courts, flower gardens, and lakes with paddle boarding and other activities.

These days a list of my highlights is never complete without a mention of my running. It’s such a great way to see the city, especially once you’ve built up to the longer runs. My shorter weekday runs would venture into Cheesman Park*, which was formerly a cemetery and still houses the remains of what may be thousands of dead bodies. On my longer runs, I’d go along the Cherry Creek Trail and down to Washington Park.

*For the record, there are plenty of Pokestops in Cheesman. Although running becomes somewhat less effective when you keep having to stop to collect the balls…

Botanic Gardens, Denver — The Denver Botanic Gardens are also worth a visit. I loved the Japanese sections as well as this Monet-inspired waterlily pond.

Although I didn’t make it to all of these, there were plenty of outdoor activities going on throughout the summer. Jazz in the Park in City Park, ‘Meet in the Street’ on 16th Street Mall, various concerts at Red Rock Amphitheater, outdoor movies, walking tours, and, of course, camping up in the Rockies.

Ten-Day US Road Trip: Mount Rushmore, Little Bighorn, Yellowstone and Salt Lake City

22 July, 2016 By Anna S E Lundberg 1 Comment

You may remember my blog posts from last year about an epic road trip that I took with my aunt from Los Angeles up to San Francisco and Napa, across to Yosemite and Death Valley and down through the Grand Canyon. Well, once in a lifetime that may have been but we decided to do a second one this year. My cousin was getting married in Estes Park at the entrance to the Rocky Mountains, just outside of Denver, and so this was our anchor for planning the route.

Now I can’t mention Estes Park without saying something about the Stanley Hotel. Opened in 1909, in 1971 it hosted Stephen King and his wife in Room 217. They were the only guests and his experience of the echoing halls inspired him to write The Shining. Though the hotel didn’t serve as the location for Kubrick’s iconic film, that film plays on continuous loop on all the guest room televisions. If you’re interested in seeing evidence of paranormal activity on site, you can join a ghost tour where you’ll be astounded by lollipops being knocked over by the various spirits who inhabit the building.

For the first time, I put together a little video of our trip – I almost get tears in my eyes each time I watch it as I remember everything we’ve seen in such a short space of time (reflected in the fact that I’m squeezing it all into one blog post!). Country roads, take me home!

“Like no place on earth”

Our trip started in Wyoming, driving north from Denver up through Cheyenne, the capital city. Although my post-trip online research has told me that Wyoming no longer officially has this slogan, the state motto ‘like no place on earth’ quite accurately summed up this part of the country. The area includes both Yellowstone and Grand Teton National Park but that’s not all its known for; Wyoming is also ‘the equality state’, having been the first to grant women the vote in 1869.

Another state that’s “like no place on earth” is Montana. For some reason I had imagined wide-open prairies and Native Americans, presumably thanks to films like Legends of the Fall and A River Runs Through It – and this is actually quite close to the reality, Montana being the fourth biggest state but ranking just 44^th in population of the 50 states. What I did not expect, however, was the proliferation of crystal meth, of which I was informed by a lot of billboards with various messages along the lines of “one shot and you’re hooked”. Lovely. Seeing how differently people out here live, together with the conversations I overheard throughout the trip about guns in particular, I got an unexpected insight into the voting patterns of the country.

Mount Rushmore

Now the reason for venturing into meth central was in fact this: ticking off #7 on my bucket list and visiting Mount Rushmore (“THERE IS NO COUNT RUSHMORE!”). It’s really not on the way to anything and as we’ve established the US is a very big country, so you can’t exactly just pop up to Mount Rushmore. Having come to Colorado for my cousin’s wedding, however, it felt like this was my big chance: the memorial is less than a six-hour drive from Denver. It was conceived precisely to bring tourists to the Black Hills region and it seems to have been successful!

Now, as is often the case, Mount Rushmore was smaller than I had expected (did you ever visit the Leaning Tower of Pisa?), at least from a distance. On the way there, I first saw the profile of a face carved into the mountain but it turned out in fact to be that of Crazy Horse. In an ambitious project that started in 1948, the intent has been to create a monument to represent a Native American hero; if it’s ever completed it will be the largest sculpture in the world. Over at the better funded Mount Rushmore, the four faces of the American presidents were chosen by sculptor Gutzon Borglum to represent the founding (George Washington, 1789-1797), growth (Thomas Jefferson, 1801-1809), preservation (Abraham Lincoln, 1861-1865) and development (Theodore Roosevelt, 1901-1909) of the United States.

And the name, Mount Rushmore? Read this letter. Random…

The unexpected highlight for me was coming back in the evening, when all the visitors joined in with the national anthem as the monument was lit, and all past and present military personnel were individually honoured on stage. If you’d like a taster of what this was like, I recorded a video on my phone – it’s very dark, but you get at least an idea of the atmosphere. Just click on the ‘X’ to remove the ad at the bottom.

Little Bighorn

National Cemetery — 263 soldiers, including Custer, died at the Battle of Little Bighorn

Reading about Crazy Horse led us to the Battle of the Little Bighorn, where the combined forces of the Lakota, Northern Cheyenne and Arapaho won a victory against Lieutenant Colonel Custer and the 7^th Cavalry Regiment of the United States Army (referred to in The Last Samurai, if you’ve seen that recently!). Although we hadn’t planned a stop there, I was happy to see that the site of ‘Custer’s Last Stand’ was on the way to our next stop, West Yellowstone.

Indian Memorial — A quote at the memorial reads, “Forty years ago I fought Custer till all were dead. I was then the enemy of the Whitemen. Now I am the friend and brother, living in peace together under the flag of our country.” – Two Moons, Northern Cheyenne.

Although that battle of 25^th-26^th June 1876 was a victory for the Native Americans, just a few years later they had surrendered. The site of the battlefield today includes a National Monument with the Custer National Cemetery as well as an Indian Memorial.

Yellowstone National Park

I’ve always loved Yosemite National Park but I have to say that I may well have a new favourite: Yellowstone. Its sheer scale and spectacular beauty was quite overwhelming, with every turn in the road offering a fresh perspective and a new type of landscape. The first national park in the US and possibly also the world, it encompasses sub-alpine forest, geothermal features including geysers (also ‘paint pots’ and ‘fumaroles’), mountains, lakes, rivers, canyons, waterfalls… and a range of wildlife including bears (we saw a black baby one), bison and elk (we saw several), deer (we saw many!). We saw most of it from our car so I’d definitely love to come back and have more of a natural experience of camping… but WOW, what we saw just took our breath away. We even timed our visit perfectly to the Old Faithful geyser just as it erupted (it does so approximately every 90 minutes – you can follow the latest estimates on its personal Twitter account!).

Salt Lake City

Salt Lake City: another place that I’d been curious about but I would never travel to for its own sake. Of course I’ve always known it as the headquarters of the Mormons, something that has only been reinforced since watching Book of Mormon. Twice. As far as I can tell, everything portrayed in the musical is basically true (okay, except the actual story of Kevin, Arnold, and Uganda) and it was quite fascinating to learn more about their beliefs of Jesus coming to North America, Mormon and his son Moroni (“the all-American angel”) writing down their witness in the 4th century AD, Joseph Smith finding those golden plates, and Brigham Young founding the religion in Salt Lake City.

Sal Tlay Ka Siti, not just a story mama told
But a village in Ooh-tah, where the roofs are thatched with gold
If I could let myself believe, I know just where I’d be –
Right on the next bus to paradise: Sal Tlay Ka Siti

Now Salt Lake City is the location of the Mormon temple, and it does look exactly like it does in the musical set. I found it interesting, though, that only about half of the city’s population is Mormon and there is actually a strong counter-culture that means that it’s no problem at all to find places to drink coffee or alcohol… or do yoga! Since it was only a quick two-night stop, we did still focus our attention on Temple Square, which was the reason why I wanted to visit the city. We said, “Hello” to a lot of very friendly Mormon volunteers who were there to guide people around the area, all for free. Most in fact were women, both young students who were on their mission and older pensioners (rather hilariously, it was the latter who were tasked with showing us how the computers worked in the Family History Library).

The practical bit

I honestly wouldn’t recommend such a whirlwind tour of so many states, even though that’s often what I end up doing; but it did gave me a taster and I now know where I’d like to come back to (definitely Yellowstone for some proper camping as well as Jackson and, more surprisingly, Salt Lake City).

Driving distances, no stopping:

Denver – Mount Rushmore c. 370 miles (<6 hours)

Mount Rushmore – Little Bighorn c. 280 miles (<5 hours) – West Yellowstone c. 300 miles (4.5 hours)

West Yellowstone – Jackson Hole c. 130 miles (2.5 hours)

Jackson Hole – Salt Lake City c. 300 miles (4.5 hours)

Salt Lake City – Denver c. 530 miles (<8 hours)

A few of my favourite places to stay or eat:

Torrington, Wyoming: This was a ‘middle-of-a-nowhere’ petrol / lunch stop but I feel it deserves a mention because of the surprisingly modern coffee shop The Java Jar, where they served great coffee and very fresh salads and sandwiches. They even had Wi-Fi!

Broadus, Montana: Should you ever find yourself driving through Broadus, then keep on driving. Should you for some reason have to stop, then make your way to the bowling alley (you’ll know it by the naked baby doll tied to a post outside) where you can get a really yummy quesadilla.

Keystone, North Dakota: Our hotel recommended the Powder House Lodge Restaurant and we weren’t disappointed. I had the most delicious elk medallions sautéed with apples and my aunt had the one of the best (buffalo) filets she’d ever tasted. I also had a very tasty Moscow Mule in the Red Garter Saloon where there was live music and even a bit of dancing.

Jackson, Wyoming: Try Bin 22 for dinner and drinks (the restaurant is next door to the grocer’s where you can pick up a bottle of wine with no corkage), and The Bunnery, a popular breakfast spot for tourists and locals alike.

Salt Lake City, Utah: The Melting Point was a pretty amusing insight into what Americans think of fondue. Bearing little resemblance to what we do in Switzerland, this was a massive four-course extravaganza that nonetheless was worth it for the experience!

5 Comfort Zone Challenges to Change Your Life (Guest Post)

15 July, 2016 By Anna S E Lundberg 1 Comment

This is a guest post by Kevin McNamara. He has a great website on a theme that’s very close to my own: getting out of your comfort zone. Read on to discover his tips for how to break out of yours!

5 Comfort Zone Challenges to Change Your Life

Comfort zone challenges help us to break our state and move from a place where we feel comfortable to a place where we feel uncomfortable. This is how we grow. As Dr Wayne W Dyer said, “The difference between a flower that is alive and a flower that is dead is that the flower that is dead has stopped growing.”

When we as humans stop growing we start to die inside. To grow is to live fully. When we look around even at some of our own circle of friends and family, we see so many who have stopped growing. People who are living average lives and are content to sit back and let the circumstances of the world control them, instead of them taking control of the reins.

My Own Dark Night of the Soul

In my own life I have had phases where I stopped growing. I had no purpose, no direction and no goals. I was dying inside. I had lost my daughter, Holly, at five months of age to SIDS, was depressed and had gone through two marriages and two divorces – all over a period of five years. One day I looked at my life and realised I had two choices: I could continue as I was, a victim, and blame everyone else except myself; or I could take control of my life, take responsibility and move forward, learning and growing as I went. I chose the second option.

I just decided one day that I hated my life and it was time to change. I had to raise my self-confidence and self-esteem. I started meditating daily, changing my negative self-talk to positive affirmations, and went beyond a belief in myself to a ‘knowing’ that things would be okay.

The Keys to Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

To become confident with any aspect of our lives we need to practice the thing we want to be good at and we need to practice often; repetition is key. Doing something once and expecting to be good at it is delusional.

Doing something once and expecting to be good at it is delusional.

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This is where comfort zone challenges come in. A comfort zone challenge is something we do to take us out of our average life that places us in a state of being uncomfortable. Doing this often enough leads to us becoming good at it and in turn raises our confidence and self-esteem.

5 Comfort Zone Challenges that can Change Your Life

1. Saying Good Morning to Passers-by

It sounds simple, doesn’t it? But so many people you pass in the street look away, are staring straight at the ground or have a frown so large they might explode! They look really unhappy. I either run or walk most mornings and pass by lots of people. I make it a habit to say good morning to everyone, especially those who look unhappy or try to look away. This does two things: (1) it gets you into the habit of talking to strangers, which is great for your confidence, and (2) you get a response from the other person. They have to make an effort to respond and most people will put on a smile. So you are helping yourself by becoming more confident and you are helping others by putting a smile on their faces. You will actually make that other person feel good about themselves. Win-win!

2. Intro Vlog

Make a video where you talk to the camera introducing yourself and what you do for a living, and publish it on Facebook or some other social media platform. I have a Facebook group called 52 Week Get Out of Your Comfort Zone Challenge where new members have to do just that. Again this is great for your confidence. Putting yourself out there and making yourself both vulnerable and accountable – this is how we grow.

3. Take a Selfie with an Emergency Service or Military Officer

Now this can be a police officer, fireman, paramedic or any one from the armed forces. I often have people say to me that in this day and age that is really dangerous to do; it’s not, in my opinion. (Obviously if they are involved in some kind of emergency situation you aren’t going to ask.) I have many photos with these people and have only ever been knocked back once. 99% of these people are friendly and will only be too happy to have a picture taken with you. We gain confidence in talking to not just another person but someone in authority.

4. A Selfie Video in a Crowd

So many people worry about what others think of them. There is a whole new world of freedom once we let this emotion go. I learned a long time ago that the only thing other people worry about is themselves. They don’t care what you do or say most of the time. Go out and find a crowded market, shopping centre, airport, train station, or anywhere you find that has big crowds; start filming yourself and talk into the camera. You can talk about anything but do this for around a minute, minimum. Once you get over the feeling of “people are watching me” you get a huge adrenalin rush. The first time I did this I was really scared and it took me a good 30 minutes to find the courage. Once I did it I was on cloud nine! It is a real buzz walking along in a crowded area talking into your camera. And when you realise no one cares, a whole new world of freedom opens up. You can see my YouTube example here>>>>>.

5. Ring or Write to Someone and Tell Them That You Love Them

This one is probably the toughest of all the challenges. How many family members or friends have we neglected? People we know and love but never acknowledge with our feelings. This is a simple challenge but a most profound and enlightening one. You can do one of two things. First, ring a person and have a conversation with them. As part of that conversation tell them that you love and appreciate them. Tell them that is why you called: to say I love you. The second way of doing this is to write them a letter. Sometimes we express ourselves better in words on a page than through our voice. Do the same thing here: tell them you love them and appreciate them and that is why you are writing. Again you are putting yourself out there, being vulnerable and allowing your emotions to shine through. It makes you feel good and it makes the recipient feel fantastic! Another win-win.

There are many comfort zone challenges you can do to give yourself confidence, raise your self-esteem and change your life.

The key is to do them consistently and make them a habit in areas of your life where you struggle. The more we do, the more we grow and the more we live with increased confidence and higher self-esteem. Living outside your comfort zone consistently is where the magic and freedom lies.

Kevin McNamara is an inspirational speaker, mentor/motivator/coach and author. His mission is to help people move outside their comfort zones to live a life of magic and freedom. You can learn more on his website at www.getoutofyourcomfortzone.com. You can also pick up his complimentary ebook, 7 Comfort Zone Challenges to Double Your Confidence and Raise Your Self Esteem, by clicking here>>>>>.