Whether you’re a senior professional in a large corporation or an entrepreneur working independently, the boundaries between ‘work’ and ‘life’ are getting more and more blurred. This has been particularly evident during the pandemic, as more people have been working from home than ever before. In fact, I’m a big fan of the idea of work-life integration rather than the more prevalent construct of ‘work-life balance‘. However, integrating work into your life does not mean a complete lack of boundaries. Setting healthy boundaries is all the more important for that integration to work for you. And yet it can be so difficult to set those boundaries and, above all, to stick to them. So let’s take a look at how to practise setting boundaries.

Why are strong boundaries so important?

First, though: why is it important to set boundaries at all?

Well, boundaries allow you to protect what’s important. That can mean carving out personal time with your family, preserving your mental health, maintaining healthy relationships… Ultimately, it means staying true to who you are and living your life with integrity.

To understand how important it is to set boundaries, you need only look at what happens when you don’t have them. When there’s a lack of boundaries or only poor boundaries in place, the symptoms are likely to include feeling drained of energy, as if you’re not in control of your own time or priorities, and you’re also likely to feel resentful and being taken advantage of. Although you’re the one allowing this to happen, it’s easy to blame others. That ‘other’ might be a demanding boss, or an unreasonable client, or someone in your personal life who is taking you for granted.

What do good boundaries look like?

Okay, so what kind of boundaries are we talking about?

Taking the example of working from home, setting healthy boundaries can start with actual physical boundaries. For example:

• Designate an area in your house where you’ll do your work. When you’ve finished for the day, pack away your documents, shut down your laptop, and shut the door to that room altogether.
• Turn off the notification on your email application while you’re working on an important project or presentation.
• Set your phone to silent or turn it off entirely when evening comes and you’re having dinner, storytime with the kids, or date night.

There are also professional boundaries that need to be set with your colleagues, managers, direct reports, or with your clients if you have your own business:

• Define your ‘office hours’ when you can be reached, and when you’re not available. Traditionally, office hours would be Monday to Friday ‘9 to 5’ but you get to define what that looks like.
• Specify how you want to communicate – is email the best way or would you prefer people to pick up the phone? Are you available on chat or WhatsApp or is that for family and friends only?
• How much are you willing to give to your work and your clients, and does the scope of your responsibilities end?

There are also more subtle mental and emotional boundaries. For example:

• Draw a line between your work persona or your professional personal brand on the one hand and your whole personal self that comes to the fore in your private life.
• Be clear on what you’re happy to share in a work or business context and what is private.
• Understand who are your close friends who can be trusted with intimate insights and who in your broader circle doesn’t need to know the ins and outs of your personal situation.

How to practise setting healthy boundaries (and sticking to them)

Now that you have an idea of what kind of boundaries might be helpful in your life and career, what next? How do you set the boundaries that will make sense for you? And how will you make sure they are respected?

1. Decide on your boundaries – It might sound obvious, but the first step has to be to decide on those people and things that are most important to you, what are your non-negotiables, and where you’re willing to compromise. That means you must clarify what the boundaries are as well as whether they’re completely fixed and immovable or rather a little flexible when necessary. People are more likely to respect your boundaries if you show a willingness to compromise in a true emergency.
2. Proactively and assertively communicate those boundaries – It’s no good having boundaries that no one is aware of. Clients and colleagues will learn to respect your boundaries if they understand what they are (and why they are important). They’ll probably even be inspired to put in place some of their own!
3. Learn to say “no” to protect those boundaries – These are your boundaries, and you’re in control here. People will continue to push and test the boundaries (like toddlers!) if they can get away with it. Learn to say “no” politely but firmly.

What boundaries do you already have in place? What additional boundaries could you implement? And how will you set them?

And would you like help with how to practise setting boundaries in your life and business? Get in touch and we can look at how I can help you do just that.

Work-life balance is one of those phrases that gets thrown about a lot, especially now in the context of working from home and in relation to the concept of the hybrid office. Whether you’re in a senior management role in a large corporation or running your own business, you’re likely to be endlessly striving for that perfect ideal of a healthy work-life balance. That means achieving your career goals on the one hand while having quality time for everything else in life on the other. And yet trying to do everything will mean that you’re working longer hours, being torn in different directions, and, at worst, your mental health is likely to suffer. So let’s consider how to have a better work-life balance.

How to have a better work-life balance

1. Define success

To work out how to have a better work-life balance, you must start by defining what a *better* work-life balance looks like for you. While you’re at, you should define ‘work’, ‘life’, and ‘balance’!

You’re never going to have any meaningful kind of work-life balance if your working day involves extreme stress, a toxic office environment, and work that you simply don’t enjoy. Gone are the days when work was just work, a way to earn a living. Our expectations and opportunities are much bigger these days, as we search for work with a purpose, that’s aligned to our values, and that we feel makes a meaningful difference.

Next, your personal ‘life’ outside of work includes a rich tapestry of people and activities. What are the relationships that matter in your life? Hobbies and activities? Health and fitness? Knowing what’s important to you is a prerequisite for making time for what matters.

And, finally, ‘balance’ is a subjective and evolving state of being rather than a predefined end goal. It will never be possible, or even desirable, to be 10/10 in every domain of your life. You will inevitably need to, and want to, make priority calls on where to focus at any given time.

2. Identify the blockers

Once you’re clear on what success looks like to you regarding work-life balance, the next step is to look at what’s currently getting in the way. Why don’t you have that balance right today? What are the barriers?

Do you feel like you just have too much work to do, your obligations in the office are so great and your boss so demanding that you simply must stay late in the office, work long hours, and eat into your personal time?

Or, likewise, do you feel that your family obligations weigh too heavy? All the life admin, housework, paying bills, taking care of the kids… all this leaves no time or energy for the fun stuff?

Whatever your excuses today, you need to face these head on and understand clearly what you feel is getting in the way right now, so that you can look at how to address those barriers moving forward.

3. Look for solutions

And that’s the next step: looking for solutions to the professional and personal problem areas you’ve just identified. How can you reduce stress and manage your time and energy more effectively?

When I talk about delegation in business, I always suggest that you divide your projects and tasks into different buckets: (1) the things I have to do (because they’re important and I’m the only one who can do them); (2) the things I want to do (they’re in my ‘zone of genius’ and I really enjoy doing them); (3) the things someone else could do; and (4) the things that don’t need doing at all.

Whether we’re talking business or personal tasks, bucket three will include all the things that you can and should delegate. In business, you’re looking at hiring a virtual assistant, a graphic designer, a social media manager, etc. In your personal life, you’re talking cleaner, housekeeper, nanny…

And the things in the fourth bucket can be thrown away and forgotten about altogether!

4. Prioritise ruthlessly

One of the most powerful metaphors that I’ve come across for how to have a better work-life balance is the idea of balls. Not simply the usual cliché of juggling balls but a more nuanced distinction between the rubber balls on the one hand and the glass balls on the other. I’ve repeated this idea many times over the years, never sure where it came from. A little online research suggests that the origin may be in a commencement address by Brian Dyson, then CEO of Coca-Cola:

“Imagine life as a game in which you are juggling five balls in the air. You name them – work, family, health, friends and spirit – and you’re keeping all of these in the air. You will soon understand that work is a rubber ball. If you drop it, it will bounce back.

But the other four balls – family, health, friends and spirit – are made of glass. If you drop one of these, they will be irrevocably scuffed, marked, nicked, damaged, or even shattered. They will never be the same. You must understand that and strive for balance in your life.”

5. Stick to your guns

Here’s the thing: it’s not enough to understand this idea in principle, and to have a clear work-life balance strategy on paper. It’s not a case of making this decision and then, that’s it, you have an ideal work-life balance. You’re going to be tested, again and again. You’re going to have to make priority calls, tough decisions, and compromises, again and again and again.

So you need to keep those priorities front and centre, in your mind or even on a post-it or whiteboard by your desk, so that you can easily and repeatedly make the right decision when faced with a choice of what to prioritise. You need to set and maintain clear boundaries. And, most of all, you need to get good at saying, “no”! Only then can you hope to achieve work-life balance in practice.

In fact, ‘achieving balance’ is probably an impossible ideal that can’t be fulfilled. Balance is, by definition, an ongoing process. Your ambitions and obligations will expand and contract in different areas of your life, and your personal definition of success can and will evolve as well.

If you’d like help with how to have a better work-life balance, then get in touch and let’s talk about how I can support you in the coming months.